Shizzie’s blog

Finally! Finally I have discovered Bob Marley!  Where has he been all my life?

I guess I always thought I liked reggae, but never actually listened to it much. Now I'm hooked.  Ever since we got the new Freestyle, I listen to it frequently.  I love driving my new car with all its amenities and Bob Marley at my side.  It's funny to look at how my driving habits have changed over the last 10-15 years, or really even the last couple months.  Since the accidents this winter, and rising fuel prices, I've turned into my grandmother behind the wheel and Bob helps.  "Don't worry - 'bout a thing...." It's a whole new experience on the road, but I love it.  Everyone's safer as our gasoline budget dwindles.

Man, what if everyone listened to Bob Marley while driving?  I bet there'd be a lot fewer accidents.....

So we have the Legend album that is chock full of hits.  Every single damn song on that album is a good one. Truly amazing.  My favorites are Could You Be Loved & Exodus.

My son Grant loves Bob Marley too!  Recently we were driving on the highway and he didn't like the CD I put in. Threw a fit.  Changed it over to Bob Marley and he was happily swinging his feet. Kid's got good taste in music.

We have had such an unlucky winter, think I should play the lotto? 

We got into another accident two weeks ago.  This time we weren't the smartest. We should have turned around when the snow plow couldn't stop at the intersection and the wind was blowing so much snow around that you couldn't see 50 feet in front of you. That's a bad sign right there...  The story is that while attempting to leave Muskegon after spending the weekend with family, we got caught up in a 50+ car pile-up on I-96:

http://www.wzzm13.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=87486

I managed to stop when I saw the traffic jam and not hit anybody, but the dillhole in the full-size pickup behind us was going too fast. Smacked into our back end. Blew out the window glass completely.  Poor Ash (our 11-year old Greyhound) was in the banck end sleeping at the time and suddenly had a lot of glass and to deal with.  The worst part was the weather.  The actual temperature outside was barely positive (probably 1 or 2 degrees) with about a -20 wind chill.  If it weren't for the nice people who gave us their blanket to cover the hole where the back window once was, I'm sure the dog would have frozen to death, and the rest of us would have been pretty miserable.  After an hour of being stuck on the road with cars all around us, officials started directing all traffic off the highway.  We were told a police officer would come to us, so we didn't get the license plate of the truck who hit us! Now he was lost for good having conveniently not followed us to go wait for a report and offer up his information.  Grr. We ended up in a park and ride right off the exit where the police were writing up accident reports.  An hour and a half later, it was finally our turn.  Our car was drivable, but not across the state, so we set for hubby's Grandma's house once done.  Somewhere between 15 and 20 miles took us an hour to drive.  When it was all over, it was four hours from the time the accident occurred until we got back and out of the car.  The kids behaved really well, Grant was a special trooper. He was strapped in his car seat that whole time and never complained.

Get this, here's the kicker. On the way back to Grandma's house, at a 4-way stop just a few blocks from where she lives, another car rear-ended us trying to make the stop. I screamed!  Luckily no damage to his car so we sent him away.  Seriously, like we wanted to wait around for another accident report?  I couldn't believe it.  Have you ever been rear-ended twice in a day?  I can now say I have.  Looking back, it's pretty funny but geez people need to control their cars already!!!

The appraiser estimated $5700 in damages. The car wasn't worth much more than that. So the insurance company totaled it. Our 2nd total loss of a vehicle in three months. Ugh. I was sad. Our beloved Subaru was dead.  This was the car that we bought just after we got married, brought both kids home from the hospital in, took many memorable trips in, and hauled across the country from Oregon to Michigan when we moved four years ago. It was a great car and I wasn't ready to give it up.

After countless hours of research, we settled on a replacement. In the end it was down to a Mazda5 or a Ford Freestyle.  We were really impressed with the Mazda but the Freestyle blew us away.  The major selling point for both cars was 3rd row seating that folds down (so we can haul the dog).  I've thought about a minivan for a while because of how many people can travel in them but never really liked the look of them and they tend to be poor on gas.  These cars are cute, quick, and GREAT on gas!  In the end, we opted for the Freestyle because it's larger, does as well as the Mazda on gas, and we were able to find one with the trim package we like.  Freestyles are plentiful in the Detroit area, as you can imagine.  The Mazda5 is not.  Other selling points included awesome crash test safety ratings, good reliability reviews, and the fact that it drove like a car instead of an suv.  The car we officially purchased last night is black with dark gray interior and has fog lights, heated side view mirrors, heated leather seats, a moon roof, a navigation system, dual zone climate controls, a 6-disc in-dash CD changer, premium speakers.... it's loaded! The car is a "crossover" I guess, and you can't tell by looking at it if it's a minivan or suv. Or maybe it's a wagon!?  I'm going with wagon. Just looks like a big ole wagon to me. :) A big huge wagon that I want to drive all the time. Yeah.  :)  It's a 2006 model, I paid $16,700, and it has about 27,000 miles.  Based on other Freestyles we looked at in the area, we figured we got a really sweet deal. Got the financing based on my own credit and income, thankyouverymuch. So we once had no car payments, now we have two, totaling $400/month. Yikes!  But after a rough winter, we have two great cars that are newer, more reliable, and get much better gas mileage than our old ones. Yes the honkin huge Freestyle with its V6 engine actually gets better gas mileage than our Subaru Legacy did.  Go figure.

Now, can people just leave us the hell alone? I'm so ready for spring...

I can see it's been a full two months since I last wrote about my life.  What a busy two months it was!

On a snowy morning around the beginning of December, my husband's car was totaled.  It was an old old OLD 1988 Mazda RX-7 lent to us by his dad, so our losses were minimal, but that still left us with one car.  It was not his fault, the other driver swerved into his lane after fish tailing on the slick roads.  The police report indicated that she was driving "too fast for conditions" and "lost control of the vehicle."  Our insurance declared the car a total loss and wanted to haul it away after giving us I think around $1200 but my FIL wants to part it out, so they gave us just under $800 to keep it.  So the banged up Mazda sits in our front yard until he hauls it away this spring. At least we got the other driver's mini-tort payment to cover our $500 deductible!

We took a Friday off work to go shopping for a replacement car and were lucky to find a good deal on a '96 Honda Accord.  I paid around $5600 and it had 77K miles.  Excellent deal on the financing.  The car drives wonderfully. Very smooth shifting. Comfy ride even on the highway. Gets going real fast but when you want is also great on gas, way better than the Mazda. We just love our little ole Honda and talk about it all the time.  I think we'll have this car for many years, if somebody doesn't hit it!

At about the same time the Mazda was totaled, I got a raise!  I had been interviewing at the dental school on campus. They liked me and offered me a job on the phone, but my current employer countered the offer and gave me a raise for the IT security work I'd been doing the previous few months.  In the end, I got a 15% raise and $1500 out of it!  They just wanted me to stick around another year. Um, OK!! Well worth the vacation used for interviews. Without the offer, I would not have had my job reclassified. Major props goes out to my boss for her brilliant plan, she actually talked me into applying.

I've had a really amazing year in my job.  I've attended several classes, received excellent IT security training at no cost to me, I've taken on a lot of responsibilities that look nice on a resume, and I've received a lot of money for it.  I attribute a lot of it to good luck.  I love the university!

Our Giant Silk Moth emerged from his cocoon three days ago.

We found this bright green caterpillar in August, put it in a jar, and it immediately spun a cocoon. That was neat. We watched with much anticipation but nothing happened after a while and we thought we killed it. Well on Monday night Aaron discovered that our little guy (girl? oh well, I'm just going to call it a "he"...) was done doing his thang. At first we were all, "What should we do? Let him outside?" But then we found that's probably not a good idea. In the wild he wouldn't have hatched until probably June. If we let him out he would have frozen to death probably rather quickly.

Anyway, it. was. purely. fascinating. He doesn't move much so it's hard to tell if he's alive, until you touch him. I got a video of him flapping his wings. We didn't know at the time, but he was getting ready for his first flight! We've since seen him flap his wings like this before flying. So cool! Here is the video:
Fluttering Wings

Unfortunately this guy won't live long. Once they emerge in their moth state, they can't eat and live a little less than a week (only long enough to mate). Since there are no mates around this time of year, we decided to let him have free range of our house. He pretty much just stays in the kitchen though. The kids love him!

You can kind of see his little tarantula-esque legs here and his body is all furry and brown. SO CUTE!! His feelers are cool too, they look like little feathers.

It's so so sad though knowing he'll die in a few more days. But what a thrill and a privilege to know him!

What's your guilty pleasure?  I think I found mine. And it took the form of this:
http://www.hbo.com/events/justintimberlake/

I'm hooked, and it's strange. I never ever would have imagined. This is so not my kind of music. I'm into Rock N Roll baby, the heavier the better.  I like Tool, Primus, Metallica, Megadeth... I'm generally not into "Pop." And I've certainly made fun of Justin Timberlake in the past. I mean come on, he was in 'N Sync for crying out loud.

But this concert, this FutureSex/LoveShow performance is intoxicating.  The band, the dancing (oh, the dancing!!), the lighting... it's all quite sexy. And Justin, well isn't he just a hot little piece of ass? It's quite a departure from what I normally get into, but I can appreciate a good performance when I see one.  Hey, a little sexy in life ain't a bad thing.

Yesterday I had the privilege of attending a talk given by the Executive Director of Amnesty International USA.  It was part of a special lecture series born of a UofM professor whose son died in the World Trade Center on September 11th.

This was on the invitation:

The war in Iraq and the fight against Al-Qaeda have posed major challenges to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the foundation for the global movement for human rights. Increasingly, to many critics the war on terror has become a war on human rights, providing cover and sanction for repressive governments around the world, undermining human rights globally and compromising US national security. Larry Cox, Executive Director of Amnesty International, will explain the key events that created the current situation, suggest what can be done to make the United States a credible proponent of human rights, and propose actions that encourage the rule of law and human rights around the world.

Well the lecture was downright amazing, inspirational, depressing, hopeful... and a bunch of other words I can't think of right now to describe it. Mr. Cox was just amazing. His focus was on how the U.S. has been capturing and detaining people suspected of terrorist associations and holding them without trial or even charging them with a crime for months or even years! While sometimes we do catch some bad guys in these secret prisons, largely there are a lot of innocent people being yanked and tortured. And many confess to "crimes" they never committed, just to get out, because it is that horrible. He quoted an FBI agent describing the conditions at Guantanamo Bay where we have been holding many innocent citizens of ours and other countries in really disgusting conditions. I found a copy of an article on this in the Washington Post:
 

Detainees at the U.S. military prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, were shackled to the floor in fetal positions for more than 24 hours at a time, left without food and water, and allowed to defecate on themselves, an FBI agent who said he witnessed such abuse reported in a memo to supervisors, according to documents released yesterday.

It is such an awful violation of human rights, I am appalled. Shame on us.

I guess I kind of knew these things were happening, but the stories I heard were shocking. It's just another reason to hate this administration. I think back to the elections Bush won and I remember that many voted for him because of his strong religious faith and that he appeared to be honest and trustworthy.

Are you fucking kidding me?

No way has it been almost two months since I last posted!  I'm not even sure I can remember everything I've been up to but I'll try.  In a way, I'm relieved summer is over so I can get back to the business of not being insanely busy todo el tiempo.

The big thing that happened in August was our first annual pig roast. That's right, first annual.  If I like you, you can come next year when we do it again. :)  We all had so much fun and partook of the best pig we've ever tasted, therefore we'd like to make it a tradition. I promise next time I'll get more done well ahead of time so I can actually enjoy the party, instead of running around nonstop for nine hours only to schmooze the last few before dusk.  But yes, the hog was divine, the music was great, the beer was beerish, and the kids loved the bounce house.  I'm in a rock band with my husband and a couple other guys, and we got to come out of the closet on this day after only two rehearsals together.  We were all very proud and excited.  It was a big party though, and took about a week to recover from all the mess, but it was worth it. Now we just need to disassemble the roasting pit and figure out where to store the cinder blocks for the next 11 months.

Last week, Jack started Kindergarten. I didn't mourn it. Rather, I was, and still am, just really excited for him.  He is growing up and becoming more independent of us. After five years, it's nice to see him doing more "adult" things. Also I'm very eager for him to be immersed in academics and I can't wait to see how he performs.  He's learned to read over the summer and has a keen interest in math.  The boy is smart as can be, which might explain some of the difficult behaviors we've had to deal with during his lifetime.  The first couple days were hard on him; he missed his preschool and friends, and for some reason wasn't keen on going to the "after school care" room when class let out.  But he seems to have made the adjustment well. He still loves riding on the bus, which is probably the highlight of his day.  It's hard to get much information out of him about his days at school, but so far I know:
- at recess time, he and two other kids have been killing yellow jackets so they don't sting other kids
- he didn't like the music played during music time (ie, it wasn't hard rock like Green Day)
- the class rabbit eats its poop
LOL.
I simply adore Jack's K teacher.  She is AWESOME! She has a Master's degree in Teaching Reading! Not like Jack needs it, he's an excellent reader already, but still... She is a very enthusiastic person and sent home a two-page letter to parents last week talking about how she has been teaching for 12 years and "I love this work!!"  She's really excited about the lesson plans she spent all summer preparing and the field trips they'll go on every month. She's also on email a lot and says I can write her anytime! About anything!  I already think the world of her. Couldn't have asked for a better teacher.

Grant is Grant. What can I say? He's two and irrational still.  But he's cute and innocent and says some funny things, so he can stay.  Just yesterday, he pretended to talk on the phone. As he held it up to his ear and walked in circles, he said over and over again, "Nope. Nope..." It was so cute! I wonder where he picked that up from? He's learning more and more words all the time, which is probably the most exciting thing about this age.  I can't wait for him to start at Jack's former preschool in January. I think he will really like it and he could use more socialization with other kids. And hopefully they will teach him how to clean up messes! A mom can dream...

Summer was pretty busy and we were gone a lot, which is one reason I'm looking forward to fall.  Jack's in soccer now and games are on Saturdays so we pretty much have to stay home every weekend. It works out though. We all need a break and Aaron couldn't possibly miss any Michigan football games, even if they are an embarrassment this year.  Anyway, soccer has been good so far. Jack has a love-hate relationship with it, but I think he mostly loves it. He's really excited about the games. I'm really excited about everything he needs to learn from team sports, things like losing gracefully, not always getting your way, taking one for the team, etc.

The weekend from next, on the 22nd, we are sticking my mom with the boys and going to Cedar Point with an old friend and his group of buddies. Words can hardly express our level of excitement. A weekend away from the kids is always anticipated, but to visit our favorite amusement park, one we haven't been to in five years, just takes the cake!  I'm very much looking forward to the rush of the Millenium Force and elephant ears (among other bad amusement park junk food).

My job continues to be awesome. I am really enjoying the geeky technical aspect of my job (fixing computers & printers, designing and implementing network security policies, managing accounts, etc) but I also really love getting around and talking to a diverse set of people every day as I do my work.  There are so many cool faculty and staff members that I support, and I enjoy engaging in a wide array of discussions with them as I do work for them.  I am really appreciating being in academics and all it offers, with exposure to new ways of thinking.  Just yesterday I was privileged to attend a lecture from the Executive Director of Amnesty International USA about human rights in the post-9/11 world. I learned so much and was shocked, saddened, and inspired at the same time. Plus I got paid. ;) It was great! I'm looking forward to more opportunities to learn and think about things in a different light. Knowledge is good. Go Blue!

The last week has been amazing.  Jack and Grant have been at my mom's house for six days now. Everyone's really happy about that, except probably my mom who has to to all the work. Just kidding, she loves her grandbabies, but they are a lot of work!

We've had plans for months now to help our friends Louise and Ben move into another apartment, but we had to ship the kids off for the day.  My mom agreed to take them and next thing I knew, they were going to stay for a week!

I know the boys were really excited to stay at my mom's house. They sure do love their Grammy! She has a great piece of property out in the woods, which is perfect if you like insects and other little critters as my boys do. She also has a pretty long paved driveway, and that's excellent for bike and scooter riding!  Plus my mom has a Playstation 2, which Jack adores and is really good at now.  She also lets them stay up late and eat junk food.  Typical grandmother spoilage.  What's not to like?

I've been getting some funny updates, like the time Grant fell asleep standing up (leaning on the couch). Clearly naptime was long past due. My other favorite is when Jack wouldn't let him in my mom's house and there was Grant standing at the door holding his poopy diaper. Glad I didn't have to clean that up!

Aaron's about the happiest I think I've seen him before we became parents.  I know he cares for his kids but geez they aren't that bad, are they? I know he's thoroughly enjoyed the break.

I'm pretty happy too.  My house is spic and span! I dare ya to do the white glove test!
Second thought.. maybe not.  But hey my house really is clean! We've caught up on all our chores, I put the boys' toys in their bedrooms, and I shampooed the carpet. You can barely tell that kids live there. It's nice. Real nice. I don't get to enjoy a clean house. Or an uncluttered one. This is a real treat.

We've been having adult fun too.  Aaron's been fishing.  We ate Jamaican food. Went putt-putt golfing (I beat Aaron by two strokes on 18 holes and I had three holes in one!!).  We've practiced our instruments together in the basement.  And of course there's been lots and lots of sitting around being lazy, reading the new Harry Potter book, etc.  Work is nice too. I can sleep in a little later, leave for work a little later, and get home earlier too.

Tonight is the final fling. Aaron and I and Jeff from Aaron's other band have been trying to get a musical project going. We finally found a singer on Craigslist and all of us are meeting tonight to rip off a few tunes and see how the new guy sounds. Exciting stuff!

Mostly though, it's been great to do whatever I want whenever I want and not be a slave to the needs of my kids.

Well, the party is almost over.  Tomorrow after work we're headed up to my mom's house to retrieve the Borgman chilluns.  I'm sure they'll be thrilled to see us, and I'm excited for that.   Actually I kind of can't wait to see them too.  I need hugs and cuddles from my kids. They're so lovable and cute.  I can't wait to hear from Jack how his week went and all the cool things he did.

I just hope that when we all come back, the kids ease into making demands gradually.

Yeah right. ;)

I just have to write about the awesome weekend we had in Muskegon.

On Saturday we had a surprise party for Aaron's Grandmother Celia. She turned 80 on Friday.  Aaron's sister went the extra mile and planned quite an elaborate party and Grandma never suspected a thing.  Her only remaining brother and one of her sons from California came out, which was a nice addition. I had never really taken part in a surprise party. It was a lot of fun.

Later that day, I wanted to take Jack and Grant down to Lake Michigan for some fun in the sand and water.  There is a really nice play structure and beach at Pier Marquette.  It was pretty windy that day and there were some choice waves (it was so bad, the life guards had red flag out to warn people not to swim).  I went back to Grandma's house to get our swim suits.  The water was a little cold but fairly warm once you got used to it.  Aaron's sister Rhonda came while I was out and took Grant to the playground since Riley wanted nothing to do with the water. So Aaron and I took turns staying with Jack while the other went out where it was deaper to play in the waves.

That was such fun!!!

I felt like a kid again. It was such an amazing rush and I couldn't stop hooting and hollering and just laughing myself silly. The waves were huge and so much fun to try and ride or swim through or jump into or just survive.  I kept thinking, "this is more fun than a roller coaster!" And I like roller coasters a lot!  I can't wait to do that again.  Rest assured, I'll be keeping and eye on the weather and waves at Lake Michigan next time we're in town. I'm hooked!

I got back from Colorado earlier this week, and yes this is the 2nd vacation I've taken this year without my husband. I had the most amazing trip and it started when and old friend, Jen, bought a house in Lakewood less than 10 miles west of Denver.  She invited me to the housewarming party and I joked that I had enough vacation but no money, so I'd come if she bought the plane ticket. Well, she did.

My trip began on Wednesday, July 4th. It was a good day, and I surrendered to the temptation to upgrade to first class on the leg from O'Hare to Denver.  I felt rather guilty, so I decided I would drink my money's worth.  I had three large glasses of wine.  At least the flight attendant was careful to make sure I wouldn't drink and drive when I got to Denver!  First class is a real treat though.  Right away I was served a bowl of toasted mixed nuts that were still warm. *drool*  Dinner was stuffed pasta shells, salad, a whole grain roll, and a slice of chocolate cheesecake. Did I mention the three glasses of wine? Needless to say, when I arrived in Denver, I was pretty hammered. And the elevation only exacerbated my condition. Drunk as a skunk I tell ya. But it was fun!

On Thursday, Jen and I had lunch at a wonderful lunch at Sushi Den. My favorite thing on the menu was the Albacore sashimi. It was served on top of a soy sauce mixture with fresh ground wasabi on each piece. TO DIE FOR!  My favorite thing not on the menu was our waiter Xan.  That man was sex on a stick, and not afraid to flirt a little. :)  You bet I left a big tip!  Later that night I got to try swing dancing. That was a lot of fun. Think I'll ever get Aaron to try it with me?

Friday was the big hike we had planned.   Jen and I and a couple of her friends had a blueberry pancake and sausage breakfast before leaving the house around 7:30am.  The drive was scenic and we had fun passing slow people in Jen's hot Subaru WRX.  Our destination was Sky Pond at the top of the Glacier Gorge trail. It's actually a 5-mile hike each way with an elevation climb of about 1600 feet. It wasn't too difficult though and I had a lot of fun climbing rocks and leading the pack. We moved pretty fast and made it up in 3 hours.  The sights were out of this world. I can't wait to go back!  The best pictures from the hike can be found here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/sip217/SkyPondColorado
On the way home, we took the scenic Trail Ridge Road over the north and west parts of Rocky Mountain National Park. Amazing.  And we actually saw moose! I was so excited to finally see moose. Aaron and I have been to Yellowstone twice and looked for moose but were denied. I just think they are fascinating animals. So this was big for me.  After we got back to Jen's house (now about 8:30pm), she and I and her friend Jami went out to eat at Texas Roadhouse.  Besides my yummy meal, I got to try some tasty bites of Jen's filet mignon, some ribs, and Rattlesnake Bites (deep fried and breaded cheese and jalapeno).

On Saturday Jen and I got ready for her big housewarming party. We cleaned and shopped.  The party started at 3 and was a lot of fun.  We ate some lovely venison burgers and brats, guacamole, cheesecake in muffin cups... I honestly had a good time at the party, despite barely knowing anybody, but Jen's friends are cool so we all got along. Jen ended up pulling out her old flute and oboe and it was fun to dink around with them, but I think the noise was too much for some. :)

Sunday was pretty cool.  We drove to Colorado Springs to see Lisa and her new baby in the hospital. Lisa is an old friend going back to middle school.  I haven't seen her in probably close to 10 years. So it was nice to catch up a little bit and see the baby.  That evening, Jen and I went out for dinner at Vesta Dipping Grill and I cannot say enough good things about that place.  It was all perfect from the Sangria to the warm crusty bread served with roasted garlic.  I had some really amazing duck with some great sauces to dip it in. My favorite was the black pepper aioli.  Heavenly!  For dessert, Jen and I split a piece of chocolate cake with a bourbon ganache and several sweet dipping sauces to enhance the experience. The hot fudge was the best, followed by the creme anglaise.   Divine! I am so there next time I'm in Denver.

Monday was the day to come back and everything was seeming perfect, until we were about halfway to Chicago when the captain said there was weather and we'd have to stop in Milwaukee to refuel.  Once the thunderstorms cleared out at O'Hare and the plane arrived (at nearly 6:30pm, over 2 hours late), I had no way to get out of the airport.  Most flights were overbooked or cancelled. Lots of other stranded travelers too so rental cars were scarce and expensive. I finally found something I could live with from Hertz, $190 for a compact car! Ugh. I didn't want to do it, but I didn't want to get stuck in Chicago either. I really had my heart set on going home that night.  So I bit the bullet and hopped in a cab (another $60) to Midway airport where the car was.  Finally, $250 and 3 1/2 hours after arriving in Chicago, I was on my way home. The drive was a piece of cake, except for traffic in Chicago costing me at least 20 minutes, but I had no problems staying up. I got home just before 3am and it felt great to be there. I tell ya, it's weird being home and awake in the middle of the night. It was warm and muggy out and just felt surreal.

I ended up having to take an extra day off work so I could sleep, return the rental car, and drive out to Detroit Metro airport and pick up my suitcase.

Know what really irks me about the Chicago situation? I found out later that the drummer in Aaron's band, Frank, drives his truck to Chicago and back every night. He was there around 11pm that night. I could have hitched a ride home with him for free and avoided all of the hassle if I'd have known about it!  Of all the stupid............

As nasty as the trip home was, it didn't dampen my excitement. I had such a wonderful time. It was great to see some sites in Colorado. It was super fun to eat at all the yummy restaurants. It was nice rediscovering my friend Jen.  I think we're better friends now than we ever have been, and I didn't realize just how much we have in common. It's like we're separated at birth! If only I could get her to move back to Michigan.........